Happy 11,315-day Birthday! I wish I could present you an ice cream cake in person, because you totally deserve it. You’re one of my most favorite people in the entire world, and I’m so glad I got to know you off the Net. Just think, if I hadn’t had cervix and vein issues, I might never have actually emailed you! Okay, I probably would have, but still – those are the circumstances that brought us together.
As if you weren’t badass enough in the online world, you’re even more amazing in person. You’re classy and funny and bitchy and calm and collected and fancy and supportive and pretty much just incredible. You’re the ultimate super-mom, and you make it look good. You can run ten miles. I can barely drive ten miles, it’s boring. You send me the best care packages and clothing hand-me-downs, which I love. You have excellent taste in basically everything, from skirts to hairstyles to ice cream. You know more about dildos and buttplugs than any mother I’ve met, and I’ve never had such a good time in a cemetery.
Thank you for being such a true, wonderful friend. Hope you have a fantastic birthday with minimal sickness.
See you next month!