maybe i can go on living my life now.

Because I know I’ve been unable to move, think, work, eat, sleep, ANYTHING until that crazyassed Tom Cruise and poor, pathetic, brainwashed Katie Holmes had their damn baby.
Well, it’s finally happened. Katie has given birth to a 7 lb, 7 oz Scientologist. The cycle of life continues, albeit a little stupider and more bizarre every day…

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i shot a man in reno just to watch him die.

I don’t feel like blogging today. I’ll write anyway, though. I am starting every sentence with “I.” I think this is a good idea. I had a really good weekend, despite the religious holiday. I danced my ass off with IndyGirl and Co. on Friday night. I had very dirty feet afterwards. I think this is a good way to judge whether or not one had a productive evening. I had delicious lunch on Saturday. I have a newfound respect for potato salad, especially when it contains dill. I bought three new CDs. I really did wear black to the Easter gathering at my grandma’s house. I went to see the musical Mamma Mia on Sunday evening. I enjoyed it. I have watched three French films within the past 4 days. I have a lot of things going on this week. I think penguins wearing sweaters are the cutest thing on the face of the fucking planet.

you might say it’s self-indulgent.

Dear faithful blog readers,
I certainly hope you like my bulleted lists of random shit about myself. Because that’s all I feel like doing this week.

  • Kitten and I learned how to count to ten in Russian yesterday.
  • I had a dream about Iggy Pop last night.
  • I am going to see the Dresden Dolls in July with my dear pal IndyGirl. We already have tickets.
  • I went to the eye doctor Monday and ordered new glasses. They are very nice glasses.
  • Over the weekend, I changed out my nose stud for a nose ring. I’m still not sure if I like it or not. I like it sometimes.
  • I will be wearing black to my grandma’s Easter dinner.
  • I wish I was a French woman in the sixties.
  • Three more days until Indy and I celebrate Rad Friday. I need to locate some eye glitter.
  • I want a haircut and I need to do laundry.
  • just another manic monday.

    What did I do this weekend? Let me tell you:

  • Stood on my balcony and watched tornadic weather pass overhead knowing that if a tornado really did come our way, since we live on the second floor of an apartment complex, we’d basically be dead. So I just stood outside and drank a beer.
  • Created the most delicious dessert of all time. Holy shit yes. It involved caramel rice cakes, ice cream, honey, and cinnamon sugar. Manny and I call it “The Michael Landon.”
  • Walked downtown with Lori. We had coffee and a quesadilla. And then we went to a little vintage store. I bought a sweet long denim skirt (it’s a lot cuter than it sounds) that makes my ass look divine, some cats-eye sunglasses, a scarf with poodles on it, and a stripey scarf for Manny.
  • Spent two evenings in a row drinking and talking with Manny whilst listening to Warsaw, Led Zeppelin, and the Beatles. We had very sweet talks. Manny is the man.
  • Held two tiny baby boys (twins), had my first mimosa (a remarkable event), and went shopping with my new friend, who also happens to be Manny’s ex-girlfriend and the mother of his child. It’s a long, but good, story.
  • why i love my job.

    We had a department lunch meeting today. We talked about work for maybe ten minutes, then spent the rest of the time talking about alien spores, government weather control, zombies, and psychedelic mushrooms being used by the apostles.

    i stumbled across this in the grocery store.

    And it made me laugh so hard. I took a picture.

    Yes, that’s right. It’s a steak. In the soymilk cooler. In the organic/vegan food section at Kroger.

    This has to be a joke, right? Someone would have to be pretty clueless to not realize the irony of abandoning a steak in this particular location.