I quit my job.
I didn’t like it. It didn’t like me. It was an unhealthy relationship that was making me miserable, so I took a blind leap and left, and I didn’ t have much of a back-up plan – I had no other full-time job waiting for me. Irresponsible? Possibly. Necessary? Absolutely.
So now, four days of the week, I stay home with my wickedly wonderful redheaded little dude. One day a week, he’s off to daycare for social interaction and I get a day to myself. I’m freelancing design steadily and I’m working part-time at the climbing gym, a job which – let me be very clear here – I love.
I have sanity back. I’ve got more time with my family. My skin isn’t breaking out and I can sleep at night and I am not having panic attacks anymore. And I’m designing again. Oh, how I missed that.
It feels good. I feel better. It was for the best.
I worked at the climbing gym last night. When working, I am able to control the music in the gym. It was late, there weren’t many people, so I turned on my New Order Pandora station. First song was “Bizarre Love Triangle,” then “How Soon is Now?” by the Smiths. After that was some Depeche Mode, Echo & the Bunnymen, and the Cure.
Right before we closed, this kid came up to me.
“Wow! You guys are playing some great music tonight! What is this?” he said.
“What, this?” I replied. “This is New Order.”
“Who are they? I really like this sound. Are they new?” he asked.
If I had been drinking a beverage, it would have shot out my nose.
“Seriously? No, they’re from the early eighties. How old are you?” I asked.
“Nineteen. Yeah, I’m in a band, and I’m always looking for new sounds. This has a good beat. I like the bass, too.”
I was slightly thrilled. Peter Hook? You are never too old for new fans.
“Well, if you like this,” I said, “let me write down some other suggestions for you. Check them out.”
Then, on an orange post-it, I jotted down the following:
- New Order
- Depeche Mode
- Echo & the Bunnymen
- the Cure
- the Smiths
And, for kicks?
Joy Division.
twelve steps forward
and one step back
it’s all a matter of principle
it’s all a matter of perspective
it’s all elementary, dear watson.
and to get where we are going
to get her together
someone needs to send me
projected stats of sacrifices.


